An attempt at a theoretical understanding of love
Defining love is a challenging task. However, it is certainly not the role of the law to
define, conceptualize, or outline its contours. The law is merely a normative framework
designed to protect consensual romantic relationships between competent adults. Its role
is to regulate the patrimonial effects in matters such as inheritance, divorce, alimony,
business, legal proceedings, and filiation, but not to determine the gender or number of
individuals involved in each relationship. Its task is limited to recognition.
In an attempt at a theoretical apprehension of love, some theoretical references will be
compiled and presented below.
From sexual desire, love is born—a desire that arises spontaneously in human beings,
without limits, rules, knowledge, or direction, urging to be fully expressed. Love is
openness to others, stemming from a desire without a specific recipient.
According to Foucault (2017), morality has interdicted desire and, consequently,
restricted the freedom to exercise love. It has dictated the correct way to use pleasures,
removing them from the realm of desire and placing them within the realm of culture,
creating an artificiality in their practice, which served only the interests of capital: bodies
useful for labor and consumption.
Through the appropriation of desire by morality, erotic love was framed: sex for
procreative purposes and love arising in the relationship between man and woman, as
the only biologically capable of producing offspring. In this sense, all other forms of sexual
desire were interdicted and delegitimized, as evidenced in the decision of the National
Council of Justice, which prohibited Brazilian notaries from registering polyamorous
marriages.
For Foucault, in the constitution of the ethical subject, knowledge about one's desire was
not considered, constituting one of the ailments of reason: its limitation, as evidenced in
Antiquity and Christianity through the concept of sexual temperance. On the other hand,
nature intended that the act of sex be associated with pleasure, guided by desire. This
desire arises from lack, that is, it emerges from longing for what is missing in a person,
for if nothing is lacking, desire cannot exist.
According to Greek philosophy, it is in the realm of sexuality that humans reconcile their
animal instincts with the rationality bestowed upon them by the gods, an interaction that
reflects in psychology, society, law, and other sciences. In all species, sex is restricted
to procreation, which should not apply to beings endowed with intelligence, who use it
as a source of pleasure and elevation.
In the Freudian conception, for biology, the existence of sexual needs in human beings
is expressed in the assumption of a sexual instinct, much like in animals, through libido.
On the other hand, popular opinion (common sense) holds well-defined ideas about the
nature and characteristics of this sexual instinct, believing it to be absent in childhood
and emerging during puberty with the maturation of the body, manifesting as the
irresistible attraction one sex exerts over the other. According to Freud (2016): “But we
have reasons to regard these notions as a misleading picture of reality; upon closer
examination, they prove to be full of errors, inaccuracies, and hasty conclusions.”